Fifth Sunday in Lent (6)
John 11
“Lord,” Martha
said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died. 22 But I
know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.”
32 When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw
him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother
would not have died.”
35 Jesus wept. 36 Then the Jews said, “See how he loved
him!”
I have reached the point in my life, when much of my
narrative are stories of the past, stories of not only me but my family. It is easy to say ‘if only …….’ Or ‘if that
hadn’t happened’.
My Dad’s Dad’s story is a murky one, where, through unclear
circumstances, following the death of his mother in Liverpool, he ended up in
Canada at the age of 9, in slave like conditions until he was ‘rescued’ by a
family. If only his mother had
survived,… what would have changed? But
through it all, God WAS there with him. God’s love was there.
Later on, he was in the Philippines as part of the Spanish
American war. Somehow, he became
hopelessly lost in the jungle. Just when
things seemed hopeless, he heard a young woman singing the song ‘La Paloma (The
Dove)’ and followed her voice out of the darkness. If she hadn’t sung, what if?
But through it all, God WAS there. God’s
love was there.
In 1952, my Mom had just returned home to her village from Montreal teacher exchange, the day the new theological student arrived on my Grandmother’s doorstep. Her sister Pat saw him walking down the road and ran home yelling ‘He’s all yours, Maude’. What are the chances that a Wycliffe student would end up in Meota, Saskatchewan? With God, all things are possible, they were married for 43 years. Clearly, God WAS there. God’s love was there.
At 56, Dad was diagnosed with Dementia. This brilliant mind, an aeronautical
engineer, a pastor and priest, a lover of words, began to lose the intellect
that entranced us all. Why would that
happen to one of God’s servants? At 58,
it was decided that he could no longer serve, so they moved back to that
wonderful village where they had first met.
Their home, based on the footprint of my grandfather’s construction,
became the first (and last) home they owned as a couple. It was the place the grown children brought
their friends, then fiancés, then spouses.
It was also in Meota, that I first saw a Tenebrae. I was on my way there, when I called Mom who
told me that Dad had died. It was 24
years ago today (March 22).
How do you explain to a 4 and 6 year old about Dementia and
Death? Well, in that car, I told the
kids that Grandpa Steele’s brain was a house with all sorts of light switches,
and through the years, things had been switched off: the one that told the
lover of words how to speak- off, the one that made that arresting walk (that
had caught my aunt’s eye)- off, the mind
with all those stories- off, and finally, the one that made him breathe-
off. They understood, but I’m not sure I
did. At one point a few years
previously, when we were dropping Dad off at a care home for respite, I flung
myself into his arms and said, ‘Oh Daddy, why????’ And the man with fewer and fewer words hugged
me back and said ‘Ours is a loving God,’ because God WAS there. God’s love was
there.
I was struck, watching Steve extinguish the candles of the
Tenebrae last week, explaining that all the candles go out, how things keep
getting darker and darker, with the final one on Good Friday. And then he said ‘but we know there’s
something special coming after that’
Just like Dad’s house switches were getting darker, but there was
something special coming after that. His
funeral was Maundy Thursday and though it could have seemed bleak and hopeless,
we were assured there was something special coming after that. And God WAS there. God’s love was there.
Tomorrow is Palm Sunday, the beginning of Holy Week, where
Jesus enters the city to adoring crowds who will be calling for his death in a
few short days. He knows how it ends, he
knows that his Father hears him, hears his prayers. He knows our prayers, he knows our confusion,
He is ‘the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in Him will live,
even though they die; and whoever lives
by believing in Him will never die.’
Lord, you know our story.
Lord, please help us in our confusion.
Lord, please help us listen.
Lord, please brighten our path when things seem to be darker and
darker. Lord, please assure us that you
are there, right on time. We love you,
thank you that you have walked the hardest journey, to your death, because you
are the resurrection and the life. Amen
“Just as in prayer it is not we who momentarily catch His
attention, but He ours, so when we fail to hear His voice, it is not because He
is not speaking so much as that we are not listening. We must recognize that
all things are in God and that God is in all things, and we must learn to be
very attentive, in order to hear God speaking in His ordinary tone without any
special accent.” (Charles Henry Brent 1862 – 1929)